If you’re near a ‘Karen,’ chances are she’s already called the police and started filming you, so it’s best to avoid saying the following things.
“No ma’am, we cannot ban all Black people from the grocery store.”
As much as Whole Foods has tried, you still legally cannot make their favorite grocery store whites only.
“I’m just out for a walk in the neighborhood.”
Karens are keen observers and know that “just out for a walk” is code for “I am a drug dealer.”
“The social contract necessitates we forgo some of our individual liberties and privileges in order for our collective gain in terms of social benefits, and breaking said contract results in a net loss for us all.”
“I love you, Mommy!”
That’s very aggressive language and will immediately make a Karen feel unsafe.
“I don’t work here.”
You better start working here pronto. And then you better start thinking long and hard about whether or not you’d like to keep this job.
“This policy is the same for everyone.”
Surely you can make an exception for every person who ever asks?
“Have you ever read Ta-Nehisi Coates?”
Yup, and she’s already dialing 911.
“I apologize, but your table won’t be ready for another minute or so.”
The reservation was for 7, not 7:02, and now people are gonna bleed.
“You cannot speak to my manager, as they are currently trapped in a grain silo.”
“Ma’am, you can’t open the cockpit door during the flight.”
She paid for first-class tickets, so she has every right to sit in the front of the plane.
“I do not work here.”
Then why are you in this store while being a minority?
“How can I help you?”
You fucking bitch, do you know who you’re talking to?
“Why are you filming me?”
That’s the kind of aggression the police will need to see to believe.
“Yeah Mommy, tell me I’m a bad little barista.”
No reason you both can’t enjoy being disciplined.
“I’m sorry, my kid died this morning so I am really going through something.”
You’ve got it backward: She’s the one going through something because you got her order wrong.
“Can you please stop shrieking on the floor of this Nordstrom?”
This is America, and she knows her rights.
“I’m going to call the cops.”
How dare you? That is her line!
